Filing for Divorce: A Marriage Between the LGB and TQ+ That Never Really Was

By Denise

Image by Elise

For two and a half decades, the gay community has found itself unwillingly tethered to the trans community, a union that, despite the passage of time, continues to baffle and unsettle us.

It’s crucial to first clarify that the objection to this forced association doesn't harbor any ill will towards traditional (or “legacy”) transsexuals who acknowledge the reality of their condition and are simply seeking to lead peaceful lives away from judgment.

Rather, the notion that the issues, challenges, desires, and experiences of trans-identifying people are inherently linked to those of same-sex individuals is a fallacy of general society, which has consistently failed to see and hear each of our communities separately.

This fallacy is now being further perpetuated by the contemporary TQ+ movement, which, at its core, is homophobic.

Spouting a revisionist version of gay history in an attempt to legitimize a connection with the LGB community.

However, those who lived through the times would tell you that the TQ+ version of gay history is mere fiction and would attest to the lack of any genuine connection between our communities.

It is critical to acknowledge that the trans community has its rights in law, a luxury not guaranteed to same-sex individuals in the United States or, to any degree, some places in the world.

Same-sex individuals in the U.S. still have no legal rights. 

Our marriages, our protection from employment discrimination, the mere legality of our existence; none of it is guaranteed, none of it codified. 

Instead, we rely on Supreme Court rulings, now at the mercy of a court that has made clear it will overturn these rulings if given the opportunity.

Conversely, nowhere in this country is it illegal to be transsexual, “gender non-conforming,” or a generally quirky heterosexual person. Nowhere is it illegal for a TQ+ person to get married, nowhere is it illegal for a TQ+ person to adopt — all these things that are still laws on the books in many states against homosexuals, trans-identifying people, and the rest of the Q+ do not face. 

Trans-identifying people and the rest of the Q+ have their rights; what they are demanding are privileges; they are demanding to take over spaces, sports, terms, and communities that are not theirs to take.

What they are demanding is affirmation of a false reality, validation of their quirks as a marginalized identity, and belief that a lack of that validation and affirmation of their uniqueness or incongruence between reality and sense of self is somehow oppression.

What they are demanding is to be seen as victims while controlling the narrative of society and taking over spaces that were built by and for women and the LGB community.

The challenges of trans-identifying individuals, largely an emotional need to be validated and affirmed, differ significantly from the LGB community’s fight for civil rights, and their history is their own, despite modern revisions attempting to insert the TQ+ community into ours and erase gay people’s role in our own fight.

The only tenuous link we share is with the transsexual individuals who, distressed and grappling with internalized homophobia, found it expedient to transition to a more socially acceptable “straight” appearance. A struggle that the gay community has empathy for, but an experience and a choice we do not share — after all, it is at its core a rejection of homosexuality.

This is not only homophobic but a direct contradiction to what the drive and Pride of the LGB community is and always has been about: fighting for the right to be exactly who we are, same-sex attracted people, out loud and proud.

This connection is even further fraught with complexity and unease, given the historical promotion of transition as a cure for homosexuality by governments and doctors, contributing to a broader narrative of erasing the so-called "abomination" from society.

Our rejection of this forced association is not new, dating back to the mysterious inclusion of the T approximately 25 years ago, something no one seems to be able to identify the how or why of. Initially met with indifference, it evolved into a resigned acceptance. Driven by our inherent lack of animosity towards legacy transsexual individuals and the notion that these individuals were homosexuals who found it easier to “trans the gay away” than deal with the internalized and societal homophobia faced and, most of all, a hope that eventually it would be okay to be gay, and the pressure wouldn't exist to erase it anymore.

But that’s not what happened.

The current predicament arises from the transformation of the T into the TQ+ movement, something unrecognizable compared to the trans community of yesteryear. The nouveau-trans are mostly AGP, AAP, and straights who fetishize homosexuals. Demanding victimhood, falsely claiming inequality, and actively suppressing the voices of homosexuals and bisexuals in our own fight for rights.

The modern trans movement perpetuates an insidious ideology that threatens our very existence.

Now, the imposition of this association not only stifles our advocacy for the rights we lack codified into law, it also forces us into a corner labeled as bigots if we dare to challenge gender ideology.

Our own community, a community to advocate for the rights and existence of homosexuals, is now being run by the TQ+ — a group defined by an inherently homophobic ideology.

That the TQ+ demands that homosexuals accept the opposite sex in our dating pool because of how they “identify”, or we are bigots, is homophobic.

This is not any different than people saying to us 20, 40, or 60 years ago, “homosexuality is a choice. Choose to be heterosexual, or you are a sinner who is going to burn in hell.” 

What the TQ+ is saying, demanding, is the exact same; they are just using different terms and hiding behind a newly proclaimed ideological high ground to do it.

It is not progressive; it is not inclusive. It is not anything but age-old homophobia dressed up with new-age terms that sound “diverse.”

It is same-sex erasure. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And it’s hiding behind our flag and our community’s name.

It is time to reevaluate and dismantle this uneasy alliance

Born out of societal convenience and the greed of the “Gay Inc” establishments without our consent, it now endangers the very fabric of our community’s existence.