Thank you for this. You’ve described a lot of the stress and alienation and self-questioning we experience in the GC closet (still in due to the job but supporting GC folks with my wallet). Remembering when we used to use “they” as in the closet lesbians; Now we use it for another closet entirely, one that feels far more coercive.
I'm bisexual and never had any issues with it. But yes being openly gender-critical requires bravery. I have lost some friends, and expect to lose more, but thankfully I have no career to lose. My part-time employer considers herself trans and is 100% captured by the ideology, but I have been honest with her about my opinions. We have been friends for many years and we agreed not to let our differing viewpoints ruin our friendship. But this is rare. Mostly I am demonized when people find out. I have been "coming out" to more and more friends over time, and though most of them don't agree with me, some lucky ones continue to tolerate me. I am buffering myself by befriending as many fellow TERFs as possible so that I am not all alone when all my main peers (the music people) find out.
Makes me crazy to hear the phrase "Trans kids" repeated by people who seem to know nothing about what implies. JB Pritzker, a powerful and rich Democrat, has a male cousin calling himself "Jennifer" and talks about "Trans kids".That alone would make him lose a national election.
He also comes from one of the richest families in the US, Hyatt hotels which have a bad history in their treatment of cleaning staff/unions. Another source of wealth is the pharmaceutical industry-they make money marketing pharmaceuticals. His family are big donors to democrats. He’s a big NO for me.
I’m lesbian and completely closeted re my gender critical beliefs. Similar to others, I fear for my relationships, employment opportunities and most notably, my son’s security. Having come out in the 80s- I would say that this coming out is MUCH HARDER. Thank you for the article. We need to hear from like minded ❤️
I was in a relationship with a woman in the 90s. I identified as a lesbian then, without fear. I was accepted by everyone, as far as I knew.
Almost 30 years later, I’m in a straight relationship, I have a conventional life in the suburbs, I have kids, I have a good job— I couldn’t be more boring. And I’m in the closet as a gender-critical woman, with little hope of coming out soon. I worry how it would affect my employment and my friendships.
Ironically, my very religious father was happy for me to be gay but opposes my rejection of trans ideology.
Wow - your father’s acceptance of the trans bullshit, but not the lesbian experience, says a lot, doesn’t it!!?? Isn’t there more acceptance of GC views in the suburbs?
Bravo!! I can totally relate to ALL OF THIS. I found myself saying "Yes!" to almost all of it. You're absolutely right about basically feeling like one has to go back in the closet regarding our gender critical views. It's so weird and something I never once saw coming.
Same! Isn't it insane how quickly the cult mentality took over so that the mantra "transwomen are women" became compulsory? I guess nobody expects the Inquisition and obviously it can happen here. I echo all the gratitude to brave voices of reason!
Thank you for this. You’ve described a lot of the stress and alienation and self-questioning we experience in the GC closet (still in due to the job but supporting GC folks with my wallet). Remembering when we used to use “they” as in the closet lesbians; Now we use it for another closet entirely, one that feels far more coercive.
Excellent piece, Claire.
Have cross posted
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/if-they-are-going-to-come-for-me-fc5
Dusty
I'm bisexual and never had any issues with it. But yes being openly gender-critical requires bravery. I have lost some friends, and expect to lose more, but thankfully I have no career to lose. My part-time employer considers herself trans and is 100% captured by the ideology, but I have been honest with her about my opinions. We have been friends for many years and we agreed not to let our differing viewpoints ruin our friendship. But this is rare. Mostly I am demonized when people find out. I have been "coming out" to more and more friends over time, and though most of them don't agree with me, some lucky ones continue to tolerate me. I am buffering myself by befriending as many fellow TERFs as possible so that I am not all alone when all my main peers (the music people) find out.
Makes me crazy to hear the phrase "Trans kids" repeated by people who seem to know nothing about what implies. JB Pritzker, a powerful and rich Democrat, has a male cousin calling himself "Jennifer" and talks about "Trans kids".That alone would make him lose a national election.
He also comes from one of the richest families in the US, Hyatt hotels which have a bad history in their treatment of cleaning staff/unions. Another source of wealth is the pharmaceutical industry-they make money marketing pharmaceuticals. His family are big donors to democrats. He’s a big NO for me.
I’m lesbian and completely closeted re my gender critical beliefs. Similar to others, I fear for my relationships, employment opportunities and most notably, my son’s security. Having come out in the 80s- I would say that this coming out is MUCH HARDER. Thank you for the article. We need to hear from like minded ❤️
I was in a relationship with a woman in the 90s. I identified as a lesbian then, without fear. I was accepted by everyone, as far as I knew.
Almost 30 years later, I’m in a straight relationship, I have a conventional life in the suburbs, I have kids, I have a good job— I couldn’t be more boring. And I’m in the closet as a gender-critical woman, with little hope of coming out soon. I worry how it would affect my employment and my friendships.
Ironically, my very religious father was happy for me to be gay but opposes my rejection of trans ideology.
Wow - your father’s acceptance of the trans bullshit, but not the lesbian experience, says a lot, doesn’t it!!?? Isn’t there more acceptance of GC views in the suburbs?
I know only one woman in my community who shares my beliefs. I think many women are closeted.
:-( We are in a very blue state.
My father is actually a Protestant minister. Many of the mainline Protestant churches are so far gone into gender ideology.
Brilliant! What a perfect analogy!
I would be excoriated if I came out.
Bravo!! I can totally relate to ALL OF THIS. I found myself saying "Yes!" to almost all of it. You're absolutely right about basically feeling like one has to go back in the closet regarding our gender critical views. It's so weird and something I never once saw coming.
Thank you for this!
Same! Isn't it insane how quickly the cult mentality took over so that the mantra "transwomen are women" became compulsory? I guess nobody expects the Inquisition and obviously it can happen here. I echo all the gratitude to brave voices of reason!