Never Retreat, Never Surrender

You May be Done with Pride but Pride Still Needs You

Image by Sylvia, Canva, 2026.

By Jos G.

In middle school, my shop teacher would often sit at his desk and rub both hands across his face, scrubbing his auburn beard in obvious frustration with a class full of seventh-grade students who shouldn’t have been trusted with table saws, belt sanders, or molten metal. But, it was the best of times, the nineties, and extracurricular classes were there to bring new (sometimes dangerous) skills and interests into focus. I distinctly recall my teacher’s exasperation at an unruly class of prepubescent kids and the way he tried to silently soothe his own frustrations and, likely, keep his temper in check. I’ve caught myself doing that self-soothing technique during this Pride month.

What I notice seems to happen often, especially during June, is that TQ+ activists show us the door and tell us (LGBs) that we’re not welcome at Pride or in the “LGBTQ community.” It makes sense why they’d try to keep us out–they are terrified we will take it all back and restore order. It’s clear to me that the TQ+ activist effort is about self-preservation. They know their house of cards is falling and they are scrambling to try and rebuild it before the whole thing comes crashing down. The craziest part, though, is that they don’t even have to disinvite us from our own party because we packed up and stopped going on our own.

While TQ+ show us the door, LGBs–the ones who understand sexualities are based on sex, not gender–have taken to the internet to decry that “they don’t need Pride anymore” or that they are “done with Pride.” I’d argue the very reason we are in this position is that regular, everyday, LGBs have been ‘done with Pride’ for a long time. This isn’t a new phenomenon. I contend that a big part of why Pride looks as crazy as it does is because LGBs turned away from Pride. As we gained the right of marriage equality in the US, older generations of LGBs went about living their lives and those lives, by and large, didn’t include LGB-specific bars, clubs, cafes, or Pride events. Pride has become a sideshow precisely because no one said or did anything to draw these events back into line when it started to go sideways. When pride rolled around we’d watch and maybe be a little unnerved by what we were seeing—and that may have contributed to the lack of participation of actual LGBs in Pride—but we said and did nothing to course correct. As we receded into living lives that didn’t require our hands-on advocacy work, we were eagerly replaced by TQ+ activists who filled those vacated positions in LGBT+ orgs and immediately capitalized on the goodwill LGBs built over decades for their own trans (and often straight) agendas.

Image by Sylvia, Canva, 2026.

At the same time, or possibly because LGB people stepped out of advocacy and into living day-to-day lives, legacy LGBT+ NGOs realized the need for a new fundraising cash cow. Trans-activists had been pressuring those orgs, for years, to focus on TQ+ issues. In 2014, then HRC President, Chad Griffin gave his infamous speech at the Southern Comfort Conference begging forgiveness from the “trans community” and pledging to have “a real partnership” with the TQ+ community going forward. Choked with emotion, Griffin confessed to Southern Comfort Conference attendees, “HRC has done wrong by the trans community in the past and I’m here to formally apologize. I’m sorry for the times when we stood apart when we should have been standing together. Even more than that, I’m sorry for the times that you have been underrepresented or unrepresented by this organization. You see, what happens to trans-people is absolutely central to the LGBT struggle.” In his speech, Griffin made it clear that going forward, the org was going to go above and beyond to prioritize the needs of the trans community as well as to give them preference in hiring/staffing considerations.

As if they all got the same memo, other national orgs made similar moves. GLAAD is no longer the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, it is now simply known as GLAAD. GLAAD is also the org that releases “media style guides” which inform journalists about accepted or preferred terminology to be used for “the community.” GLAAD is also the org that decided homosexual is a pejorative but queer or LGBTQ are the terms that should be embraced. The National Center for Lesbian Rights is now the National Center for LGBTQ Rights. Just last week, Lesbian Herstory Archives published a screed about trans-inclusivity wherein they state, “Trans Dykes have always been part of this community. We reject any attitude that excludes lesbians simply based on hateful bias.” Hateful bias? Really? Most everyone on planet Earth understands homosexuality represents exclusive same-sex (not gender) sexualities. Incidentally, the only comments you will see on Lesbian Herstory Archive’s pro-trans propaganda post is from trans-identifying men who are beside themselves with joy and “euphoria boners” over Lesbian Herstory Archive’s offering to the altar of the trans-cult. Lesbian Herstory Archives immediately deleted LGBA USA’s tasteful but pointed comment about exclusive same-sex orientation and then blocked our account entirely.

Image by Sylvia, Canva, 2026.

These orgs have been infiltrated and a lot of that infiltration is because of the progress made for LGB rights in the western world. Nevertheless, homophobia hasn’t been eradicated, even in the western world, even in the United States. When LGB people express, with our whole chests, that “we don’t need Pride” or “we’re done with Pride,” we disregard and trivialize what it was and what it can be, again, just because we disagree with what it has become.

Frankly, we never should have walked away because the work was not done. The reality for gay people across the globe is fraught. We need to advocate for same-sex oriented people who can’t advocate for themselves. And mostly, we need to provide young people with positive, healthy, examples of what gay, lesbian, and bisexual lives look like in adulthood. They need to know it’s ok to be gay, it’s ok to be bisexual, that there is nothing wrong with them. They need to know they have a community behind them who understand their unique struggles, support their growth, and want them to thrive.

You may be frustrated. I’m frustrated. It’s ok to feel a myriad of emotions around Pride and how things got to be the way they are. But giving up isn’t an option. The common bond that we share as LGBs is special. No one “gets us” like we “get” each other. We can’t allow the bonds which have united our community for decades to slip away because our frustration is greater than our resolve. We have to keep showing up for each other.

Image by Sylvia, Canva, 2026.

Here’s what I propose (take what serves you, leave the rest):

Organizations created to better LGB lives, at both the national and local level, need to recommit to actually serving the needs of the same-sex-oriented community or they need to rebrand as TQ+ orgs. Because, what’s left if we are all done with Pride? That’s rhetorical, of course. All that would be left is what we have now, LGBTQ+ orgs run by and for TQ+ individuals. Orgs that look nothing like the community they are meant to represent and which no longer operate from the same set of values with which they were originally founded. That’s not alright with me and it shouldn’t be alright with you, either. The more likely solution is for LGB people to step back in, fight to lead the orgs that formerly were focused on LGB issues and return them to their original missions. This is the same concept as gender critical Democrats staying in the Democratic Party to try to effect change from within and Log Cabin Republicans ensuring LGBs get a seat at the table of the Republican Party. This is definitely a long-game type plan but worth the effort.

My next proposal is a much easier and faster way to get engaged in righting the ship and may help you release some of your frustrations with the “Alphabet Mafia.” If you see something off, say something. When the alphabet crew glibly throws around the word “queer” especially in reference to LGB elders, call them out. Don’t give anyone a pass. This need not be aggressive, negative, or hostile. Just state the truth and keep it pushing. Don’t allow genderqueer youth to regurgitate the transwashed version of LGB history that they’ve been fed. It’s as simple as making a declarative statement with the facts and moving on. Don’t revisit the exchange and get into a comments fight. This isn’t about winning a back and forth comment battle. This is all for the people reading the comments. If you make a simple, accurate, declarative statement there is a very high chance that:

A) Individuals reading the comments will see there is pushback, that LGBs don’t agree with TQ+ insanity. Moreover, they will see the truth, not just the regurgitated lies.

B) The person who you’re replying to will be overtly hostile in replies thus showing the true colors of the “be kind” crew. This is an extension of “Operation Let Them Speak.”

A step down from directly combatting anti-LGB sentiment online but still an extremely effective and easy way to engage with the community is to simply be visibly lesbian, gay, or bisexual online (and in day-to-day life, of course). You do not have to use your real name or profile picture if you are worried about the consequences of exercising free speech, if you’re not out, or if you just want to protect your anonymity. The reality is that LGBs are a very small, very niche group and we are massively outnumbered by people who call themselves queer/LGBTQ+. We need to be visible on social media using appropriate terms: Say lesbian, say gay, say bisexual. Make original pro-LGB content yourself. DM us what you’ve made so we can share it out and amplify your pro-LGB messaging. We also need more people to engage with our content as well as the content from other LGB-specific creators across social media platforms. Adding a like, comment, and share to pro-LGB content helps more than you may realize.

Image by Sylvia, Canva, 2026.

We have to keep showing up for each other. We simply cannot give up. To give up is to disrespect everything our LGB elders went through to pave a way for us. Fred Sargeant, one of the original co-founders of the first Pride March in New York City will turn 78 in July and is still actively involved in pro-LGB activism and fighting back against TQ+ insanity. I’m grateful to Mr. Sargeant for all he has done for our community (including helping our alliance get off the ground in 2020). I will continue to fight in honor of and for our LGB elders and especially for the youth who have never gotten to experience true LGB community. But, I need you to be in this with me. We need all hands on deck. I believe in us. Do you?